Do what you love, Or love what you do
I wanted to be a superman. Not exactly, I never had a TV growing up. My neighbourhood of 150 homes had only 2/3 TVs. I must have been 7/8 years old. My paternal uncle (edlest of my father's sibling), used to take me to one of those neighbours. It was so fun job to be flying around, to be able to help needy.
My mother once told me, and also Sree Krishna in Mahabharat (can't recall correctly) 'Wish for others, and good things will happen'. This made so sense to my tinny brain. I had only three wishes
1. Give peace to everyone.
2. Give them good thoughts.
3. And make me Shaktiman.
It continued till 2008+-1 years. I used to believe I had a deep connection with god. In 2008, I got hooked into watching cricket. And I found a new idol. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. So simple of a man, giving so many hopes, bringing joy. I used to find myself in him. My 2 wishes remained the same. 3rd was changed now. I provided god the option. Make me a Shaktiman or a Cricketer.
It was 2011, I wrote my 10th exams. I had a proper break. I used to sit and meditate for almost half an hour every evening. Also, during this time mahabharat was being re-aired. The narator `Samay (Time)`, told how it is the only constant, only flowing truth in the form of change. It also narrated `How satya, and dharma are different, and Krishna went on to explain in Geeta, that karma is dharma`. Samay even touched how dharma isn't required when satya is there. All of this played part in shaping me - I kind of stopped praying. I completely stopped worshiping. Altough I continued wishing two pointers in the first wish to come true. I still do. But, it has changed to what I can do than what would god do. Today, I don't even believe in god in the form they are described in religions.
Fast forward to 2014, I just wanted to get a good govt job to make my family financially stable. I was still playing cricket and had a dream of making it big one day. But reality was more closer. I had to get a job. I hadn't tought it through to be honest. My brother always wanted to join Army. He joined them in 2015. This was a financial releif. He was just 17, his actual age. I was 18 and half. We decided if He is going through it, I have to make it big now.
At this point, I knew I wasn't going to make it big in cricket. I kind of started to hate it in reality. As I saw age frauding happening at big scale from u15 days, back in 2012. Never had that real fire for it afterwards. Now since I could aford to take sometime and We decided to do somthing big, I had to find what is it. I figured doing Civil services would be perfect. I could make a lot of impact, plus make good money. But before this thought could have been matured, I joined a computer class - Nielit O level. Loved it completely, excelled at it. And suddenly the startup door was opened.
I had been great with people always. Had been in between them, motivating them, guiding them. I find a different energy. Plus I bring the average up. I had been doing odd businesses and handling finances for a long lnog time -
1. I had started a sim card selling business
2. I was also doing a soap selling business
3. I also did Chappals and Shoe selling business during my college days to support myself and the family.
4. During the same time, I also tried selling utensils and notebooks.
5. I was always good with money. In school days, I used to save my pocket money and lend to my father in tough times.
I was kind of a book worm in school days, and I had read about a lot of famous personalities, making it big from 0. Again back in 2016, I was reading about startup folks - Bezos, Zuckerberg, Musk. Kind of impact they had. I didn't have a laptop, nor a cs graduation. But I was doing well in my computer class course work. I was already reversing arrays, checking prime numbers, building job application platform. 😅. Felt like I was built for it. Felt like I found my calling. I wanted to build a software company - to create something world will use, to create wealth, to have influence, to have a huge impact.
It was 2020, I was doing good at being a builder, being a software engineer. Earning decent money, giving back to society in own capacity, I realised what I always wanted to do - I wanted to have an impact in the world, to make it better, in whatever way I could, even say .00000001 percent.
I am writting this in 2024. And as I look back my wishes or dreams or goals you would say, have changed over times. Yet, I have stayed relatively happy and successful (peace) during each of those phase. At times, I wasn't doing what I love. But I aboslutely loved what I did. Wise words guiding to - focus on the proccess and not results helped tremendously.
Is this the complete truth? As I delved deeper, I found that I always wanted to do one thing, I always loved one thing - which is making an impact. How I expressed it changed over time, how I wanted to make this happen did chagne. But i look at the wishes, goals, core of it has been driven by a fire to make an impact. Things are connecting now.
I have a mountain to move before I sleep, and there is only a little time.
See you!